Happy Valentine's Day!

Card from here.

Yes, forget it. Let's call today Thursday. I’m not really into Valentine’s Day. It is possible this is because I have never actually received anything on Valentine’s Day. Except from my sisters. They used to feel sorry for me, because I was the sister who didn't get asked out or received Valentines, so they’d post me anonymous gifts, but the handwriting always gave it away. I’ve kept this one Valentine teddy, not because I actually want Valentine’s teddies, but because my sisters gave it to me. (I actually have a little collection of random stuffed toys, because my sisters or my nieces gave them to me, and what's a girl to do.)

Then there was that one year that I received an electronic card from a guy I’d never met. The story goes that a group of friends of mine were together talking about me, and how poorly I’d been treated by a certain fellow (they’d all apparently observed this, and sometimes it’s nice to know these things aren’t entirely in your own imagination) and this other chap was there and listening, and so decided to send me a Valentine’s card. I never did find out how exactly he got my email address. That was nice. However, an electronic card from a guy you’ve never met, who probably feels sorry for you, is not my ideal Valentine. I don't really count that one.

There is this one other time, though it wasn’t on the 14th of February, that I received a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates from a fellow. I thought this was reasonably unambiguous. Then I found out later that he was engaged to someone else. So I don’t really know what that was. A version of nothing.

And that is the sum of flowers or chocolates or signs of affection that have ever come my way.

I have been silly enough before to do something on Valentine’s Day myself. I decided it might be worth a go. But I was completely ignored, received no acknowledgment and nothing in return. So the lesson from that inexorable hand of experience (H/T Emily Bronte) is not to do that again.

The truth is (and I hope you have now all risen and taken out your violins), in all of this quagmire of relationship beginnings, I feel like "the woman that men don’t take seriously".

Here endeth the Valentine confessions of Ali.