The life lost
On Wednesday I went to CMS Summer School for the day. William Taylor, the Rector of St Helen's in London, was speaking on 'Understanding the Times' from Matthew, chapters 9-10 and the parables of chapter 13. It can take a little while to orient yourself when you come in on the fifth talk of a series, and I came in for Matthew 10:34-42. They are powerful and compelling verses, which most Christians could almost recite, but William did a splendid job of making us all think about them anew ... Very briefly he said that the gospel brings a change in family relations (vs 34-36) as a result of a change in family values (vs 37-39) (Christians have a new love (vs 37), a new lifestyle/first loyalty (vs 38) and a new longing (vs 39)) which brings a change in family fortunes (vs 40-42).
William explained that this life we want to find is a life without reference to Jesus, a life of "doing in my way", which is the very thing God hates. Thinking about longings we have which can hold us back from losing our lives for Christ's sake (particularly in the context of world missions - which include such things mentioned as love for family, longing for what this world has to offer) referred me back to this post by Byron, a fellow blogger, who is currently battling cancer, which I found quite challenging. Sometimes our longings are for good things, but they become unhealthily disproportionate and eventually completely prohibitive in terms of our real service of God. Those must be "lost" also. Lilias Trotter in Parables of the Cross makes the point that we mustn't limit our idea of surrender to the renouncing of unlawful things. "The life lost on the Cross was not a sinful one - the treasure poured forth there was God-given, God-blessed treasure, lawful and right to be kept: only that there was the life of the world at stake".
My currently swirling thoughts on this (realise I am not exactly following a logical train of thought in this post) include the point that has been raised by C.S. Lewis and John Piper about our loves and desires being too weak, being for the lower good. They also include that fear that's involved when "with what misgivings we turn over our lives to God, imagining that somehow we are about to lose everything that matters. Our hesitancy is like that of a tiny shell on the seashore, afraid to give up the teaspoonful of water it holds lest there be not enough in the ocean to fill it again. Lose your life, said Jesus, and you will find it" (Elizabeth Elliot).